what to tell a guy when they tell you they bored

		Inquire HN: How practise you respond to people who tell you lot they are bored?
		9 points past oxplot on Nov thirteen, 2014 | hide | past | favorite | 9 comments
		I know a not-trival number of people who once in a while tell me they're bored. Unfortunately I never relate to these people. I always observe something to do, at present and always, anywhere in any situation. So when I come across these folks, I really don't know how to respond in a constructive style. I've told them what they could be doing in the past but that seems to be a temporary fix at best. Kids who tell me they're bored really make my head explode! And so HN, what would be a adept effective response to "I'g bored"?

I believe your master effect with understanding these things is that y'all're conflating (absence of) workload and boredom. Colorlessness stems from non having anything that engages a person in a positive fashion. For example, I can exist drowning in work and still exist bored out of my mind, fifty-fifty while working. The work beingness done is perceived as being tedious, rote and without positive emotional impact. That being said, finding something "fun" to do for a bored person is no easy job. And sometimes cipher seems appealing to the bored person. Y'all can endeavour dragging them forth, so that they'll get engaged in the procedure of doing something, but at that place's no guarantee that this will piece of work. Sometimes people just demand to be bored, I guess.

The following was taught to me past my love friend, Reginia. If it worked on someone every bit stubborn every bit I am, it will piece of work on anyone. Just tell them this: When you lot say, "I'm bored," you're actually saying, "I'chiliad boring." Substantially, bored people are boring, and boring people are bored. Surprisingly, it'southward entirely truthful. It also works in contrary; interesting people are interested, and interested people are interesting. Fascinating people are fascinated, and fascinated people are fascinating.

Permit's play a fun game of "Spot the logical fallacies!" > If it worked on someone as stubborn every bit I am, information technology will piece of work on anyone. Hasty generalization > When you lot say, "I'grand bored," you lot're actually saying, "I'yard ho-hum." Advertisement hominem > ...and boring people are bored. Affirming the consequent > Surprisingly, it's entirely true. Argumentum ad ignorantiam

Equally far as I am aware at that place are millions of people interested in and fascinated with due east.g. Justin Bieber. Are they all fascinating?

Yes, the Bieber fans are more than fascinating/interesting to each other because they share common footing. When people share a mutual interest or fascination, they tend to be more than interested in and/or fascinated with each other, at least when compared those with which they have no (known) mutually shared involvement or fascination. If you refuse to be interested in or fascinated with anything, and insist on being bored by everything, then you have isolated yourself past preventing any common ground with anyone. By deciding to be bored, you've made yourself boring to others, and oddly, you've also made yourself ho-hum to yourself.

If someone tells you lot they're bored they're unremarkably looking for help making a conclusion about something or permission to do something. Bored is a state of indecisiveness - no ane wants to do something they might feel isn't enjoyable or useful, so being in a country of boredom is a function of non being able determine on something to do, or not existence able to think of something to practice (although that'southward much more unusual). The simplest solution is to incentivize a particular action and change the state of affairs to make something more worthwhile than all the other things. To do that you need some knowledge of what motivates the person though, and some power to make the alter. It'due south worth noting that sometimes existence bored is a perfectly correct state to be in. Occasionally I'chiliad 'bored' in the heart of a large project. That's a sign that in that location are things I've all the same to form a cohesive strategy for. 'Bored' in that example is really shorthand for 'need some reanimation to think'.

Totally agree overall. In general bordom to me is unremarkably a country of indecisiveness for near people. And there are those who just tin can't figure out what to do adjacent. In some cases I think information technology tin can also exist a sign of depression as well, not that I am an skillful there, just something I feel I have seen personally many times. I accept major issues with the phrase "I can't". I raised my kids to never say "I can't...." because to me that is proverb yous failed before you even tried. Trying and failing is better and so never trying to begin with. I am ok with failure and with "I demand help on xyz", but non "I can't". To me "I'm bored" is in that same boat.

Ask them questions - effort to dig in to why they are bored and find threads of things that interest them. I'd say the holy grail is incepting interest ;-)

hoffmanmuchat.blogspot.com

Source: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8600458

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